Frozen Stiff




I opened the freezer to get out pancakes for breakfast. I removed three frozen pancakes from the package and replaced the box in the freezer. As I was about to close the freezer door, I noticed a large plastic bag in the freezer. It was clear plastic and I could see many colors of frost inside. I looked at the bag and wondered where it had come from. Except for a few items we had left before we went on our last trip, the freezer had been empty. Now a whole shelf was full.

I touched the bag. It felt cold. I poked at the bag. It was hard. I shook my head and left it alone. We had gone shopping the afternoon before and no doubt DW had added something extra. I closed the freezer door and heated the pancakes in the microwave and had breakfast. SHE was still at the gym. She doesn't like to eat until she comes home from the gym at six a.m.. I like to eat when I am hungry. I ate. After I finished breakfast and cleaned up and went to put away the suitcases from our trip, she came home.

I gave her time to put away her things, take a shower, and sit down for breakfast. I poured her a cup of coffee. Then I popped the question. "What's in the big plastic bag in the freezer? It looks like a frozen rainbow."

"Fat eighths and fat quarters," she said without pause. She took a spoonful of cereal and began to eat.

"Fat stash?" I asked. I knew what she had said. I knew all about fat everything in her sewing life. I knew that we had two extra fat bags in our car on our trip home from the mountains. I know she had tried to buy out all the cotton quilting fabric in every town we passed through in Northern California. Only the size of our car trunk had stopped her.

"I was sleepy last night," she said.

"I was sleepy, too," I said. "What's that have to do with stash popsicles."

She stood from her seat, went to the freezer, and pulled out the plastic bag. She held it in front of me. I looked at it closely. Indeed, it was frozen fabric. "I washed it all yesterday while you were unpacking. But I was too tired to iron last night."

"You froze this bag of fabric because you were tired?"

"It was a long drive," she said.


"So I thought I was awake and I wasn't. I washed some of the fabric and a few of the fat quarters ran, so I had to rinse out the dye, and by that time my eyes closed down and I couldn't iron."

"Closed down?"

"I know it was eight o'clock, but my body said it was midnight., and since I was up at four o'clock, I went to sleep."

"What time are you on now?"

"My time! Any more questions?"

"And that explains why you're holding a bag of ice?"

"I spun the fabric out wet so I could iron it damp but then I went to sleep and I didn't want to let it dry and then have to wet it again, so I froze it. That way we both had some sleep."

"Your fabric slept?"

"What are you asking?"

"Are you going to wake up the fabric and iron it?"

"As soon as it defrosts. I have to finish my breakfast first."

"What about the fabric?"

"What about it?"

"Aren't you going to give it breakfast, too. After all, it might be hungry after hibernating all winter."

"It wasn't all winter, just last night. And you're being silly again."

"Probably frostbite," I said.

"Put this on my ironing board," she said as she handed me the cold stash and went back to her breakfast. I carried the iceberg of fat eighths and fat quarters into her sewing room, and I could almost swear I felt the fabric shiver. If so, I'm sure her hot iron would soon warm it up.

Copyright 1998 by A.B. Silver

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